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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Ooo... Look... I made a bloggy.

Ok, there are a few of you who read my blogs over on MySpace and if you read my most recent blog over there last month you'd know I was boo-hooing the rise of Facebook without a full fledged blog feature... ( I poo-hoo on "notes.") This isn't quite perfect either since I can't automatically make my blogger blog private for only my Facebook buddies without sending them an e-mail invite and then having to have everyone to sign up for blogger permissions. Or something like that. I don't know. It's too hard to think about right now. So just pretend it all makes sense.

Look, the point is I need a nap and sometimes I need to blog about it. What am I supposed to do when I NEED to blog and my blog doesn't quite fit in with any other blog I have set up? You know… the kind of blog that would make perfect sense on my MySpace blog, but just looks stupid everywhere else (because it does, trust me.)

Today I happened to need to blog not about my nap, but something just as riveting. Imaginary education... getting a degree in something ridiculous and having a job that would just kick so much ass because I'm sure it's just like it looks on TV. If I had unlimited funds and mega-brains, I would totally go back to school to study (in a very particular order):

1. Theoretical Physics (and by extension...Quantum Physics... duh)
2. Linguistics (as in philology... like @ MIT...)
3. Food Anthropology

Let's be honest. I was blessed with some talents... but I'm no genius and I am definitely no math wiz. At the ripe old age of twenty-something, I've come to accept that math may be my mortal enemy and science is a dish best served in 1/2 hour increments on the Discovery Channel. I know I am not equipped for physics - but for the love of all that is holy I can not get enough of the stuff that is made just for people like me.

Stephen Hawking, I tried to read your ridiculous book and understand what the hell you were writing about. It wasn’t happening. But! Stick your little butt on a panel of theoretical physicists, ask you all questions about virtually anything and I will sit there and listen to your robotic voice for 90 hours. I will DVR every Science Channel special on time travel, parallel universe, string theory, subatomic particles, worm holes, dark matter, thermal radiation, extraterrestrials... whatever. Slap Michio Kaku's name on something, and I’m on it. If I had mega-brains, this would be a non-issue. I'd totally be working on my time machine right now. Actually, scratch that. In an alternate dimension, I do have mega brains, and it is a non issue because I already built my time machine and I'm traveling through dimensions as we speak. Boom! Roasted!

I’m well aware of my mathematical limitations. I have no plans (barring a freak accident which awakens my sleeping mutant super-brain… totally possible) to realistically venture into the world of physics. I don't have much the same excuse for the other two on my list - which is where the whole "unlimited funds" thing kicks in. As a revered and brilliant linguist, I'd probably spend my days doing long hours of research for average pay and eventually with multiple doctorates under my belt, maybe become a professor or lecturer. Not quite the payoff for years of tests and paper writing. Because I do happen to love doing nothing so very much, I can't justify being out of the work force for long enough to go to school to be successful followed by years of working crap jobs to pay back the loans that would come along with the package (I got my BA in Film... so that was useful... for picking movies on my Blockbuster queue... I kid, I kid... I valued my education, etc and whatnot). The same goes for a food anthropologist. I mean there is pretty much one job outside of the academic world for a food anthropologist and that's on Alton Brown's Good Eats... I think the competition would be pretty stiff.

So, I suppose that until I have my unlimited funds and mega-brain I'm content to skim the surface of the subjects that interest me. Who knows? I’m fickle. Ask me again next year. My interests will have probably changed and I'll want to study interior design, 3d imaging and cheese making. Actually... cheese making sounds like a pretty good idea... wait. No, cheese eating sounds like a pretty good idea. That's what I'll do.

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