This morning as I was driving into work, I spotted three middle-school aged boys standing outside my friend's apartment complex. They had backpacks on, so I assumed they were waiting for a bus or something to come pick them up. I had a bad feeling about three mischievous seeming boys climbing on and around the apartment complex signage at 6:50AM, so I proceeded with caution.
I watched them as I drove past them and glanced back at them in my side view mirror to see the three of them simultaneously raise their hands in the air and THROW SOMETHING AT MY CAR.
I continued driving and waited to see if the stuff they threw would actually reach my car.
It did.
Three thuds.
Thankfully there was no one on the road because I made a calm and conscious decision to pull a Mr. Wheeler, slam on my brakes, throw my car in reverse and go hauling back TO SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THOSE KIDS.
Which I'm pretty sure worked.
My car is old. I love my car, but a few pebbles hitting it on the side won't hurt much of anything... but this was about the principal of the thing. 1) KIDS. WTF? and 2) PARENTS. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE? THEY'RE THROWING THINGS AT CARS!
So anyway, I watched in my rear view mirror as the three boys went pale the moment I slammed on my brakes. Then, as they saw my car switch into reverse, I watched as they RAN LIKE THE WIND back into the parking area of the apartment complex.
Like I said, my friend lives in that complex, so I'm fairly familiar with the area. Much to their dismay, I pulled in and followed the little suckers as they kept running around the corner.
I was already running late for work, so I didn't want to waste too much more time but I saw the direction in which they ran and spotted the area in which they were hiding. So I rolled down my windows and stopped my car within earshot and pretended that I had been on my phone. I started talking obscenely loud:
"YES OFFICER, THREE CLEAN CUT BOYS WITH SHORT BLACK HAIR, BLACK SHORTS, TWO IN RED SHIRTS, ONE OF THEM IS WEARING A BALL CAP AND THE LAST BOY WAS WEARING AN ORANGE SHIRT... OK... SO YOU'LL SPEND ALL DAY TRYING TO FIND THEM? ... GREAT.... THEY'LL DO TIME IN JUVENILE HALL?... PERFECT.... THANK YOU POLICE OFFICER."
I looked in my rear view mirror as I drove away. I think (maybe in my little heart, I just hoped) that one of those boys squatted behind a bush was crying. If so, mission accomplished.
A lesson to all the little childrenses of the universe: Don't frack with my car. Ever.
LOL, so awesome!! At our old place, we actually did the same thing to some kids who were playing ding dong ditch in our neighborhood. It was dark and they wouldn't stop and it was funny at first but they got our dogs barking which made them laugh even more, so they kept doing it. Ed went outside because we saw them hiding in the bushes and he raised up his camera with a long lens and a super bright flash and started taking pictures (there was no memory card in it though, we just wanted to freak 'em out). I was on the phone saying "Yes, I know exactly who they are officer, they live in this neighborhood and I see them all the time...no, it's too dark to see what they're wearing but I know where their house is so when you get here I can take you to it..." OMG - the greatest moment ever was when I heard one of them crying and the two others stood up and said "We're sorry, we're really sorry..we're just bored and wanted to have fun". Dude, these kids were 13. Ed yells "I have you on camera, there's no way you're getting away with this" and the crying one stood up and said "Please don't tell on us! Please don't call the police". Then Ed and I started laughing and the kids kinda calmed down and we started talking and stuff and I told them about how we used to TP people's houses and stuff when we were little. It ended up being cool, but at first I was soooo pissed off! Needless to say, they didn't torment us anymore after that LOL
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!! THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN MY STORY!!!! You guys so rule!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid, there was this steep dirt hill by a gravel road. The kind of hill where you climb one step up, and slide back down two.
ReplyDeleteWe used to throw dirt clods at cars on the road from the top of that hill. Sometimes the driver would stop, and actually climb the hill after us. We'd wait till he was about a foot from the top, 3 feet away from us, and run off into the woods. Even a foot from the top, there was still about 30 seconds of climbing, and we could stand there face to face, and still get away!
But the dirt clods wouldn't hurt the car, they powderized on impact, like talcum powder.
MarkD - your story is great inspiration for me to start working out by climbing dirt hills. I need to be at the top of my game to scare the crap out of little kids and then chuck dirt clods at them. ;) I must always be prepared!!!
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