Lame Reasons I've Heard for Not Going to our 10 Year Reunion

Our 10 year high school reunion is quickly approaching and I am actually looking forward to it. In general, the Class of 1999 kicked ass. We were smart and talented. Um. That's a fact. Because I said so.

Don't get any funny ideas - I was in no way, shape, or form... cool. I was in choir and really only did choir and music things, my friends were in the choir or in the band and I rarely talked to people outside of my comfortable nerd world. I loved those nerd people. I didn't know parties existed where people drank alcohol and did drugs until my Senior year and I was never officially invited to one... but even if I was, I probably would have rather stayed home. I wasn't super smart or talented - just normal and maybe a little hyperactive. I knew I wasn't one of the popular kids then as much as I know that now and if you had asked me in 2000 who I wanted to see from my graduating class, I probably would have a longer list of people I'd rather not ever see again.

Luckily, 10 years is a lot of time for change - and while I still love all the nerdy things I loved then (and more!) I am no longer the person who gets intimidated by the cool-kids. For the most part, I like myself now and I don't feel the need to be anyone else. It's liberating and I know that most people have gone through this same metamorphosis so I look forward to meeting all these new people again.

That said, my optimism isn't shared by most and I've heard a number of lame reasons from awesome people as to why they think they're not going.

Lame Reason #1. "I already keep in touch with everyone I actually care about"

No, you don't. This is so wrong you don't even realize it... because I didn't. Here's the reason why (and I've retold this story numerous times when people try to tell me that reunions are lame.) See, I went to our 5 year reunion for 1 reason only - I wanted to get back in touch with a friend who had changed e-mail addresses and mailing addresses that I had lost and he wasn't yet on MySpace. He ended up not going, but I got his contact info from another classmate.

I showed up late to the reunion, paid $80 for my date and myself which paid for 2 drink tickets, and "appetizers" (which sucked because at the time I was doing the whole vegetarian thing so I ate crackers and the 3 pieces of cheese that were left) - it was a waste of my money... until Michael Chung. My date and I were about to leave after about 20 minutes of not doing much (since the rest of the reunion attendees had already dispersed into the wide wilderness of D&Busters) when one Michael Chung walked by swiftly towards the exit. I kind of screamed a little and shouted, "holy shit, Michael Chung!" and I think I scared him.

Michael and I never hung out outside of class, but we had 4 years of Latin together. With the people that sat around us in class we gossiped about school drama, discussed Dawson's Creek, and ate smooshy cookies. I looked forward to class because I loved the people I sat near and when I saw Michael Chung again it immediately occurred to me that I really liked this person as an individual and whatever differences in social circles we had in High School that might have once prevented us from being friends outside of school, were no longer relevant in adulthood. The rest is history. If not for a "stupid reunion" I would have missed out on a good friend that I would never have had the pleasure of knowing as an adult. It never occurred to me prior to that moment that I wasn't already in touch with everyone I wanted to know. He was at my wedding and I hope he'll be around for other important life events.

Lame Reason #2. "It will be embarrassing - I'm not doing anything with my life"

A) Actually, you are and B) I don't care. Thanks to Facebook everybody pretty much already knows what you're doing and you're doing fine... but actually, most people (myself included) don't care. Even if you're making $3,000,000 an hour, that's neat and I'm kinda jealous, but I don't really care because that's not a qualifying factor for me to want to spend the evening chatting with you over a beer. I am however interested in the quality of your character. If that hasn't developed in the last 10 years, then maybe you don't want to show up to the reunion because that's really sad. I am absolutely not the same person I was 10, even 5 years ago, and I'm going into this expecting that everyone else has also changed.

Lame Reason #3. "Everyone is just going to stick to their cliques."

They will - at first, because that's what sober, nervous people do. Once people start relaxing (and I start peer pressuring people to drink *side note - if you're a recovering alcoholic, please tell me now before I accidentally force you out of your recovery at the reunion with a sake bomb*) and the music and the food is flowing, then you'll be able to talk to anyone you want. Besides, if you see someone you don't want to talk to, there's a drinking game for that! Every time you see someone you'd rather not talk to, take a drink! Before the night is over, you'll want to talk to everyone! In any case, the more important thing is what you are going to do - don't be quick to clique.

Lame Reason #4. "But we already have Facebook."

Back in '04, we had MySpace. Just like Facebook now, not everyone was hip to it. In my opinion, Facebook is an advantage when going to these reunions. Now you can skip over all boring "tell me what you're doing" questions and just say "OMG, I saw that video you posted of your baby doing a slam dunk while dancing to Single Ladies - HI-Larious!" and go from there discussing the latest YouTube phenomenon and bam, you're drinking beers and having a good time with someone you already know from Facebook but don't really know, you know? I don't know about you, but I've got about 500 Facebook friends - and at different points in my life, I have personally known and loved them all- but when was the last time I met up with all of them at a bar? It rarely happens. It might happen more after I decide I like you in person now as much as I like you online... unless you decide you only like me online, in which case, ok. haha.

Legitimate Reasons for Not Going to the Reunion:
1. "I'm having a baby and the due date is November 28, 2009."
2. "I'm getting married on November 28, 2009 and my fiance will be pissed if I don't show up."
3. "I'm homeless and living in a shopping cart so I have to decide between the cost of the ticket and eating for the next month."
4. "I can't afford a plane ticket from Greenland, but I'll start walking now and hopefully I'll make it."
5. "I'm Miley Cyrus and I have a show scheduled that night on my Slobbery Horselips and Baby Teeth tour"
6. "I am currently in a coma."
7. "I didn't go to your high school... and I graduated in 2005"
8. "I am a dog (cat, bird, turtle, giraffe, etc.)"
9. "I am allergic to oxygen"
10. "I will punch you in the face if I see you."

So, the point is, go. Because I will be there and I honestly want to party with you and your face and clearly we don't hang out enough anyway. Just like with any other life experience, go into it with an open mind and you'll be the one in control of how good or how bad a time you have. If you show up and you're having a shitty time, come find me... I'm 100% serious - we'll party way better than anyone did back in 1999.

Also, if you didn't get the invitation yet they probably don't have the right mailing address. You can register and get the details here: http://monarchalumni.org/s/265/index.aspx?sid=265&pgid=353&cid=946&gid=1&ecid=946