Mini Hoodlums

This morning as I was driving into work, I spotted three middle-school aged boys standing outside my friend's apartment complex.  They had backpacks on, so I assumed they were waiting for a bus or something to come pick them up. I had a bad feeling about three mischievous seeming boys climbing on and around the apartment complex signage at 6:50AM, so I proceeded with caution.

I watched them as I drove past them and glanced back at them in my side view mirror to see the three of them simultaneously raise their hands in the air and THROW SOMETHING AT MY CAR.

I continued driving and waited to see if the stuff they threw would actually reach my car.

It did.

Three thuds.

Thankfully there was no one on the road because I made a calm and conscious decision to pull a Mr. Wheeler, slam on my brakes, throw my car in reverse and go hauling back TO SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THOSE KIDS.

Which I'm pretty sure worked. 

My car is old.  I love my car, but a few pebbles hitting it on the side won't hurt much of anything... but this was about the principal of the thing.  1) KIDS.  WTF? and 2) PARENTS. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE?  THEY'RE THROWING THINGS AT CARS!

So anyway, I watched in my rear view mirror as the three boys went pale the moment I slammed on my brakes.  Then, as they saw my car switch into reverse, I watched as they RAN LIKE THE WIND back into the parking area of the apartment complex.

Like I said, my friend lives in that complex, so I'm fairly familiar with the area. Much to their dismay, I pulled in and followed the little suckers as they kept running around the corner.

I was already running late for work, so I didn't want to waste too much more time but I saw the direction in which they ran and spotted the area in which they were hiding.  So I rolled down my windows and stopped my car within earshot and pretended that I had been on my phone. I started talking obscenely loud:

"YES OFFICER, THREE CLEAN CUT BOYS WITH SHORT BLACK HAIR, BLACK SHORTS, TWO IN RED SHIRTS, ONE OF THEM IS WEARING A BALL CAP AND THE LAST BOY WAS WEARING AN ORANGE SHIRT... OK... SO YOU'LL SPEND ALL DAY TRYING TO FIND THEM? ... GREAT.... THEY'LL DO TIME IN JUVENILE HALL?... PERFECT.... THANK YOU POLICE OFFICER."

I looked in my rear view mirror as I drove away.  I think (maybe in my little heart, I just hoped) that one of those boys squatted behind a bush was crying. If so, mission accomplished.


A lesson to all the little childrenses of the universe: Don't frack with my car. Ever.

Comic-Con 2011: The Blog

It has been precisely a week since we've returned from the insanity that is Comic-Con International in San Diego, CA.  This year's SDCC was the most memorable of our trips thus far and it's difficult to imagine how the experience could be any more awesome in future years. 

Here's how it went down.

Wednesday: Preview Night.

This is usually the night we pick up our badges, buy our passes for the following year and wander around the Exhibit Hall before the crowds are overwhelming.  Because SDCC has been selling out so quickly in the past few years, they implemented a new process and the tickets for the following year wouldn't be available until Thursday and only in limited quantities.  It was inconvenient for us, but ultimately I think it was probably the most fair way to handle the tickets for the following year.

If you didn't already know, I've been writing TV reviews for Daemon's TV since January of this year. After preview night I had the opportunity to meet some the people I had been writing for/with in person for the first time.  Everyone was really cool and it was awesome to attach real people to the internet personas I had become familiar with. 

Thursday: Day 1

I dress up at Comic-Con for one day out of the week.  I've found I like to do it on the first day because the excitement of being at Comic-Con is still fresh and enough to keep me moving.  This year, I recruited Rhonda into my costuming plans so I would have a buddy (last year she and my brother and Matt dressed up in a Dr. Horrible group.) 

Thank goodness she was down to dress up with me, because the reaction to our costumes was like nothing I could have ever anticipated.

My brother shot this photo of the crowd taking our photos as we stepped into the convention center.

It was so much fun and SO exhausting.  Normally I can wear my costume, walk the exhibit hall, look at artwork, buy stuff and check out the booths while occasionally being stopped for photos, but in these costumes it took us about an hour to get from the entrance of the exhibit hall to the back side in a straight line where we wanted to get nachos for lunch.  Security was constantly asking us to move and my brother and Mike eventually had to work crowd control just so we could get to a spot where we could sit down.  

Even as we ate, the photos did not stop and as I was shoveling lunch into my mouth people were taking pictures.  I had a renewed appreciation for my college years spent doing character work at Disneyland. I was having flashbacks of summer crowds and remembered that this was exactly the reason we needed hourly breaks, away from the crowds.  

http://johnal.smugmug.com/

At one point, a woman from Entertainment Weekly approached us and asked us if we would be in a EW photoshoot at the Hard Rock Hotel, shot by photographer Michael Muller.  

Um.  OK!

The photo shoot set up  http://johnal.smugmug.com/

So, we did that and ended up here:

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20399642_20512572,00.html#20992382
(*UPDATE* Turns out we also made it into the August 5, 2011 print edition on the Table of Contents page!)

Rhonda was excited because Justin Timberlake had been on that same set just minutes before us.  I was excited because... free snacks!

So that was Thursday.  I tried to get into the Archer panel, but the line was longer than I had anticipated so we missed that.  I ended up with blisters on my feet from walking around all day in my "comfortable" shoes.  

It took me about a year to make my costume since I was learning how to sew, use tools and materials as I went along.  I will probably just be wearing it again next year to get full use out of it.  I don't have the energy to make another costume for a while.  I have some changes to make... like... way more comfortable shoes.  And, next year we're adding at least one more villain to our gang, so that will be even more fun.  

Friday: Day 2

I don't know how to best describe how awesome Friday was.  Best single day at Comic-Con (for me) ever.  The Venture Bros. Panel, Bob's Burgers Panel and Alphas Panel were all great, but more importantly... everything else.

You might remember my blog from last year, geeking out over Bob's Burgers before it had even aired and being all giddy because I got to take a photo with Loren Bouchard, right? It got better this year.

You guys.

Loren Bouchard recognized me! I'm not even joking! 

AND he told me that he has read everything that I've written!!!!***

***He said that, but let's be honest, he probably meant that he reads everything I write on Daemon's TV about Bob's Burgers... not everything I write... especially not my blog.  My mom doesn't even read my blog.

So I squealed like a raging fan girl and Mike snapped this picture after the panel.

Me & Loren Bouchard... AGAIN

That's my Bob's Burgers tee-shirt from last year's Comic-Con panel that I altered to fit a lady!  

He posed for this picture twice, because he said he didn't want to pose the same way he did last year.... squeeeeee!

So anyway... as if I wasn't already seeming like a crazy fangirl by sitting in the front row of the Bob's Burgers panel, we ran into Bouchard again at night as we were walking to the Adult Swim party which we got passes to earlier in the day. He was nice enough to talk to us as we walked in the same direction.  I had a couple of glasses of Jameson before we walked over there, so I'm not 100% sure I was talking like a normal person... but whatever.  He was nice and didn't make me think that he thought I was crazy.  I wouldn't fault him if he did.

My dilemma now is... what do I do next year?  I mean, I've had photos with him two years in a row.  If there is a Bob's Burgers panel next year, I will... duh...be going and I will... duh...want to be in the front row... but am I allowed to take a photo like this ever again?  If he was someone who had no recollection of me, I'd be like "hi, I'm a fan... photo?" and wouldn't think twice... but now.... do I have to be cool? YOU GUYS.  I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE COOL!!! 

So, you have a year to tell me how to handle this.  How do I balance my obvious fandom with the fact that I don't want to be THAT FREAKY FAN? I've met lots of famous people - including the guy at the top of my "list," Mr. Johnny Depp himself, and I've never been struck with this panic. Johnny Depp and the others I've met would never remember me in a million years (plus actors don't intimidate me the way writers do.)  I'm a drop in the bucket.  I'm used to that. The fact that he remembered me is incredible and totally intimidating... but most of all it's proof that Loren Bouchard is a genuinely nice human being.  

Continuing with the awesome of Friday... this happened at the Adult Swim party:

 

Yup - Doc Hammer of Venture Bros. fame.

Can we discuss how cool Doc Hammer looks and HOW I COULD NOT BE ANY MORE DORKY IN THAT PICTURE?

And of course, Jackson Publick, also of Venture Bros. fame.

Let's discuss how much of an a-hole I was for noticing that Jackson was smoking when he had talked in the panel earlier about how he was quitting smoking.  Really?  REALLY ME?  "I'm a huge fan. I thought you were quitting?"  WHY WOULD I SAY THAT!?   He was so nice to me even if I was a total and complete arse.  So I fail forever.  That is exactly why people should not let me drink EVER.  Except for sometimes because I'm also awesome when I drink. 

Sometimes.  

So 50/50.

Michael Sinterniklaas & Me

Before the Adult Swim party we ran into Michael Sinterniklaas - also of Venture Bros. fame... but also even more so of his acclaimed work in dubbed anime... which I didn't know about until we talked that night.  

I was too shy to talk to anyone at the bar but when Mike spotted Michael, he desperately tried to convince me that I should go tell him I was a fan.   Since this was pre-whiskey, I could not be convinced so Mike went over talked to him for me. In a couple of minutes, they both came back to where I was sitting. 

Seriously, this guy was SO cool... he took pictures with my brother and my mom and everybody in our group.  He's currently working on a TNMT project and Gundam Unicorn and he does the voice for the English dub of the main character in Summer Wars (I actually have the DVD and have just never watched it in English. You can borrow it.  It's a really great anime movie.)  

Best moment with him was when he said "scissor me" meaning do the Venture Bros. pose above.  Instead I scissored his V hand gesture with my V hand gesture.  Yah.  I'm that a-hole.  People should  keep me away from other human beings.  He still talked to me after that, so he's obviously really nice. 

Also on Friday...Mike got his photo that he took with Kevin Smith last year signed by Kevin Smith.   Matt schmoozed with everyone from Torchwood at the bar, Rhonda got Steven Spielberg's autograph... on her phone... then she, along with my brother and my mom somehow talked their way into some exclusive party at the Hard Rock where they ate all sorts of food and drank all kinds of open bar booze. Then back at our hotel my mom took photos with David Arquette at the bar.

So all that happened.  In one day.  I expect a day like that will never happen again.

Saturday: Day 3

Can't remember.  Did I already tell you about Friday? 

Saturday...Tr!ckster!  That was cool. We bought art.

Oh and Mythbusters. Neato!

And there's a small chance I'll show up on TV in a year asking either Jon Favreu or William Shatner questions for a Kevin Smith project that will make me seem like a total dufus.  Get excited about seeing me ask "Mr. Shatner, what's your favorite Star Trek episode?"  Trust me.  I was fed the questions.

Oh!  And we met up and grabbed drinks with friends.  I love friends! And cookies! Good times.

Sunday: Day 4

Doctor Who. 

Can't get enough of them... I want to go on a TARDIS ride. 

And then... exhibit hall...

That's my mom who originally photobombed me when I was trying to get a photo at the VIZ Media booth. This was her first year at SDCC, but she naturally knew how to work the exhibit hall.  In all my years I have never seen a person come back with so much swag... ever.  Totally impressive.

Followed by two and a half hours in traffic to get home. So tired.

Overall, awesome times.  Still recovering, but already looking forward to next year.  Woo!

 

Significant Time Capsules

This was an entry I originally wrote in 2008 for a "family update" kind of blog that we were supposed to write in to keep extended family up-to-date with our lives.  Our day to day activities are pretty boring so when there was a lack of entries, I'd blog about something random to fill the space.  Now I do that here and since the husband isn't as fond of blogging as I am, that blog hasn't been updated in over a year.

 

Anyway, this entry makes me laugh every time I look at it so I'm re-posting it here on this blog.  Made a couple edits, but it's pretty much the same: 

 

In November of 1989 my family went to the Kid’s Stuff convention. My brother and I filled out a time capsule which was not to be opened until November of 2000. Well, we forgot about it and in rummaging through old stuff, my mom pulled these two capsules out. 

 

Here is mine. I wrote half of it in pencil making it difficult to read on the pink paper - so I transcribed it below:

Date: ? (no concept of time apparently)
Age: 7
Grade: 3
Hobbies: swim, piano, tv watch (some things don’t change), birds (really?)
My Best Friend Is: Tina
My Message To Myself For The Year 2000 Is: I shall love everyone (I was a hippie)
My Goal For Myself Is: To be a good student (The perfect child)
My Dream For The World Is: Love and Peace (My dreams actually haven’t changed much, I guess.)
My Plan Of Action To Accomplish My Dreams: is I will study verry hard (Study how to spell very.)

Here is my brother’s capsule. In some ways he's a bit more realistic than I was:
 

Date: 1989 (I bet he cheated and looked at the front of the form)
Age: 6
Grade: 1
Hobbies: piano, play, tv, math
My Best Friend Is: Shelbey
My Message To Myself For The Year 2000 Is: How old I am; what grade; everything (He’s being logical.)
My Goal For Myself Is: Alf (LOL!!!) Green Valley(Swim Team), Bibl Quiz, X
My Dream For The World Is: Money (His dreams actually haven’t changed much either.)
My Plan Of Action To Accomplish My Dreams: XXXXX (Got it...makes total sense.)

It should be a life requirement that kids fill these kinds of things out before they turn 8 years old, because the material is just magical.  I was talking to McPe the other day and she said she also had a time capsule as a kid and recently found it. Among the questions on hers was: "What is your favorite smell?" her response, "The smell of food." She's now a successful food scientist. I guess we don’t change all that much.

Voice-over Work

From the day Apple became part of our family, Mike and I have done this thing that I'm just starting to realize not all pet owners do.  When one of us asks Apple a question, the other will answer as Apple's voice-over.  Describing it now makes me realize how strange that actually makes us, but what's even stranger is that it wasn't something that came up gradually, it just automatically happened. 

Usually her voice-over is influenced by whatever animated shows we're watching at the moment.  The first voice that naturally came out as Apple's inner voice was South Park's Eric Cartman. Although there's a gender and species discrepancy, this is the voice and inner attitude that returns most often when we're talking for Apple.  Her voice-over has also had stints as Henchman 21 and Dermott Fictel from the Venture Bros. and Special Sister Mary from Lucy, Daughter of the Devil (voiced by Eugene Mirman.) Right now, we're having moments of Tina from Bob's Burgers squeak into the rotation (voiced by Dan Mintz.... we've never been able to get any actual girl voices into our girl dog's inner voice) especially when Apple is being awkward.

Apple's voiceover is 1% lovin', 99% attitude.  Yes.  She's a bitch.  Literally.  But also figuratively.  Some sample conversations we've had:


In her "NPR Cartman" voice


Scene: Apple sees me throwing out chicken bones and cleaning out the roasting pan and is suddenly interested in what I'm doing in the kitchen.
Apple:  Hey mom, what... what are you doing?
Me:  None of this is for you.
Apple:  No, that's coo.  I'm just.  I just love you so much.  And you know, chicken.
Me: You can't eat this.
Apple: But maaaaaaaaaawwwwm.
Me: Don't lick the trash can.
Apple:  I hate you.  So very. Very. Much.


In her "Angry Cartman" voice.



Scene:  Mike got out of bed for 3 minutes to run to the restroom.  Apple immediately moved to his spot and is snuggling up next to his pillow so he can't get back in bed.
Mike:  Apple, really?
Apple:  Suck it, dad.
Mike:  No, Apple, you need to move.
Apple: Whateva, I do what I want.  You're not the boss of me.
Mike pushes Apple out of his spot.
Apple: I just want to say: I love you guys, I do... except you Dad.  I hate you.

Scene: Mike and I are downstairs sitting on the couch watching TV.  Apple is upstairs.  Alone.  Not hanging out with us.
Me: "Apple!  Come down here and hang out with us!" 
Apple runs out of the bedroom and stares at us from the top of the stairs.
Me:  "Apple!  Come here!  Snuggle!!!"
Apple:  "I'm busy.  Damn hippies."
Apple turns around and runs back to the bedroom 

In her "Special Sister Mary" voice
(there's a video... if you can't see it, here's the link: http://video.adultswim.com/lucy-the-daughter-of-the-devil/holy-crap-no.html )

Scene:  We're trying to put Apple's harness on so we can go outside.
Mike:  Apple, come here.
Apple:  Uhm.  No.
Mike:  Come here.
Apple:  Uhm. No thanks. You guys go without me.  I'm cool.
She runs back upstairs and puts herself in her crate.

Scene:  Apple is sitting on Mike's chest.  In bed.  At 1 AM.  STARING at his face.
Apple:  Uhm.  Dad?
Mike:  No.
Apple: Uhm.  Dad... I have to pee.
Mike:  No.  I just took you outside 15 minutes ago.  And all you did was bark at the air.
Apple:  Fine. I hope you enjoy the surprise turd I leave in your closet tonight.  Sleep tight.
Mike closes his eyes.
Apple slaps him.  With her paw.  She actually does that.
Apple: Take me outside or I will cut you.

So 4 years now we've been doing this... and we do it automatically.  It's gotten worse.  Recently, when other people ask Apple questions, we'll instinctively respond.  For example the following exchange happened at my birthday party when Apple met one of our friends for the first time:

Colin: Hi Apple! You sure are a cutie pie!
Apple looks at him and deftly avoids a gentle pat on the head scooting past him.  I provide the voice over without thinking twice.
Apple:  Yah buddy, I got shiz to do and crap on the floor to eat.  No time to chat.
Colin looks at me silently.  He blinks.  I explain that I'm insane.

We've also started doing this for babies.  Which makes things more troubling because Mike and I seem to assume that all babies have the same attitude as Apple and many parents don't agree with our foul mouth interpretations of their darling child's inner thoughts.  Most people put cute things into the mouths of speechless babes, but when we see babies, they're little smack talkers.

So far we have yet to meet anyone that does what we do.  People seem to imagine inner voices for their pets, but none of them actually have conversations with those inner voices.  So that either means that both Mike and I are insane, or insanely awesome.  Win win.  

Doppelganger Dream Theater

My husband might literally be the nicest person in the world.  Yes.  Literally.  He is so nice to everyone all the time. He’s even nice when I’m being annoying.  And I am annoying a lot.  I haven’t met everyone in the world yet, so I could be wrong… and he’s no saint, but when it comes to being nice, he’s at the top of the nice list.

Which makes it odd when I have dreams like the one I had two nights ago.

Dreams where my Mike is mean to me. 

I’ve had them at least once every six months since we’ve been together – so going on 8 years now.  And, because Mike is so nice, he actually feels guilty about the actions of Mean Dream Mike and desperately tries to find some way to make it up to me for his evil dream twin. When I tell real life Mike about my dreams, he seriously feels bad about it and apologizes! 

The subject varies, but it’s always ridiculous.  This most recent dream was one where Mean Dream Mike bought a house and paid cash because he wanted to live in a house separate from me and not pay for the mortgage.  I sobbed hysterically and he tried to calm me by saying “I don’t want a divorce; I just don’t want to live with you.”   SO MEAN! RIGHT!?

Another time I had a dream that we were at a party and he kept making fun of the stories I was telling, so I threw my punch in his face and ran and cried in another room.  Another one I remember was that he went on vacation… WITHOUT TELLING ME!

SO MEAN!!!! 

(And also, I cry a lot in my dreams. Wah wah wah)

Why do I do this?  Why do I dream that he’s mean to me?  I never dream that he cheats on me, or that he physically abuses me, but I totally dream up scenarios where he’s such a mean guy!  In the morning, I’m so relieved to discover that nice Mike is real life Mike that I’m overcome with joy and want to hug and kiss him to death and make sure he never leaves my side.    Is it because his real life persona is so nice that my subconscious has to make up for it by making him evil in my dreams? 

Why can’t I dream that he’s a superhero and then be able to tell him about that in the morning? He would be so pumped instead of depressed!  Usually when I dream about superheroes, it’s just me with the awesome skills.  Come on sub-conscious, cut the husband a break… how about cranking out an awesome superhero dream for Mike sometime?

Soooo...

Yah.

Um.  Happy New Year?

I sure showed NaBloPoMo who was boss... not only did I stop blogging half way through November, but I totally ignored my blog through December and I'm about half way through January and I considered not blogging just to be stubborn.

But then I decided, maybe not.

I have been busy. And actually, it involves writing and watching cartoons for a legitimate purpose... so now you can't judge me.  This whole development is still in it's infancy, so I won't discuss it much just yet but it is exciting nevertheless.

I won't bother to do a recap of what transpired in the last 8 weeks or so.  I'd rather it remain enigmatically surrounded by mystery and sex appeal.  You can come up with your own theories and discuss the exciting unknown events of D in December and it will totally be a hotbed of intrigue like Agatha Christie's 1926 disappearance.

Speaking of Agatha Christie - I've started watching Doctor Who.  And by started, I mean I've finished all 5 series of the relaunch on Netflix and I eagerly await the upcoming new season.  So that was awesome.

I need to start an organization.  I'll call it Nerd Scouts.  You'd get a uniform and a hat and a sash and you collect badges in your Nerd Troop.   For example, if you're a Nerdie, you're the lowest level nerd and you make Star Wars light sabers out of popsicle sticks and Star Trek insignia patches out of macaroni that you give to your parents as a thank you for letting you live in their basement at 35.

As you go up in the ranks of the Nerd Scouts, you collect badges - I probably would have just received my Tardis Badge for catching up to Doctor Who in under 2 weeks, but my Nerd Scout superior who has earned the rank of Elf Scout carries a bow and arrow that he earned at his LOTR ceremony and a Dalek Badge for having seen every episode of Doctor Who since 1963. The badge earning possibilities are practically unlimited!


Once a year, we'd sell Nerd Scout Cheesy Poofs (nerd snack of choice) in flavors like, White Cheddar, Burninating The Universe Spicy and Classic Orange and suggest flavors of Shasta to compliment with the sole purpose of collecting enough funds to make it to our annual scout jamboree in San Diego aka. ComicCon.

Seriously, doesn't it just sound super awesome?! Who's in!?